Monday, June 16, 2008

i'm obsessive.




I obsess over everything. Whatever it is I am feeling strongly about at the moment takes center stage. For instance, this blog. I said I would start a blog and here I am an hour after trying to start my first post still trying to figure out what to say. My day has been uneventful but the one thought is I'm obsessive.

Not over the things I really wish I would be though. Take cleaning for instance, when it was just me it was no problem to be anal about the direction the clothes hung in the closet not to mention divided up into seasons, type, and color. I have 5 other people to clean up after. I don't even know where Jake's G's are half the time. Where would 10 pairs be?? Certainly not in the laundry...ah, yes, there they are; still dirty.

I'm obsessive about my cooking. I search all resources until a recipe stands out and then I study it. Would so and so like this combination? Would Jake like the vegetables? Will the kids eat it? Can I find this ingredient? Is there time? I nit pick it to death. Most of the time my new found recipe is accepted and slid into rotation.

Photography. Wow, this is my most recent issue. I failed at shooting my brother-in-law's wedding and cannot get over it. I cried when I told him 20 rolls of film are complete trash. (Photoshop can't even help.) I cried when I told her. I cried when I thought about it for the first 24 hours. Nothing else mattered. Ever since I have carried my 2 cameras with me and am shooting everything that catches my eye. They are not turning out badly which makes me realize I cannot shoot indoors. I am not able to judge the lighting. I now belong to a photo forum where I am spending countless hours trying to understand exposure and lighting. Areas I thought I was well versed.

In short, I have 4 children and a husband. I don't have time to be obsessive. I don't know how to overcome this and am not sure I want to. I learn so much when I am in this mode but I neglect my family. As stated earlier: I've been at this blog for well over an hour now while Isaac has emptied the clothes hamper onto Ruben. Perhaps trying to remove yet another one of my distractions by suffocation. I hear the microwave open which couldn't be good. Last time he did this he tried to cook a toy. And I still type...and now a cry...hm. Guess I'll stop what I'M doing...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, Ryann, if that's an uneventful day, I can't wait to read about an eventful one. Once I got passed the porn site, the blog was very entertaining. Can't wait for the next entry.

kara said...

ry..i am obsessive as well..so i can relate..please don't worry about those cursed pictures. you are what matters!! love.